I was in my early thirties, with two incredible children, aged three and eight, and a good job at a university. It wasn’t the best job I could imagine, but it was secure. I had just got myself out of a bad relationship in a different country and decided to never look back.

Sometimes the bad stuff that happens to us creates moments of opportunity and clarity. I looked around at my nice enough life and asked myself: what would you do if you could do anything in the world? The answer was one word: WRITE.

Single-parenthood gives you pretty clear boundaries. I knew I couldn’t do anything that would take income or time away from my kids, so I gave myself strategies and time limits. First, I would take courses in creative writing. Second, the creative work I did would have to pay. I had to have evidence that I was onto something. If I didn’t receive that positive reinforcement, I would think again about what I should do with my life.

Luckily for me, this all came to pass: the courses not only confirmed I had some ability, but they also accelerated my learning. At the end of my first year of writing (which was done at night after the kids were in bed!), I won a coveted place at the International Institute of Modern Letters, where my Masters project would become my first book. A combination of scholarship money and awards with small (but significant to a single mother) cash prizes made it possible.

Single parenting is hard. Before I met my partner, I just put my head down and tried not to think about the exhaustion and the never-ending tasks. Now, I can raise my head and look back over what it was like without that support. SINGLE PARENTS, I SALUTE YOU. Children need to be raised by communities, but contemporary societies don’t often allow for that, so you are doing the job not just of two people, but dozens. Nobody knows what it’s like unless they’ve been there, so don’t let anyone disrespect what you’re doing. And never underestimate yourself. You can move mountains.

The thing you want to do more than anything in the world is going to be there for the rest of your life. And you can start any time. I started in my thirties but I know women who started in their 40s or 60s and had great careers. Everything we do professionally, we need to do around the needs of our families, because they are our work too. And because knowing they are okay helps us do our best professional work.